Thursday, April 26, 2007
There's more to me than me.( The "I" post.)
I have an ambition, or perhaps more like a wish. I want to meet people from all walks and circles of life. Sometimes, you can't really explain human behaviour. Sometimes, its just a clear glass see thru, its just so predictable.
If i were to die, and all my family and friends were to throw out every information about me, i believe there would still be questions and secrets will be buried with me. There are this part of me that i couldn't share or explain.Its not that i don't want to, its more of i'm am not able to.The inability is not caused by a restriction but more like just an inability. Even if i do, you might not even understand. I just hope that everyday i could live behind that cover. Till now , if you purely feel that i'm talking funny, then i guess its a good sign.
I want to be a happier person. Anger prevents happiness. I'm fairly hot-tempered, easily pissed by slight happenings. Everything about people are beautiful. Traits, personalities and actions. I realised there isn't a guide for the "Perfect Behaviour". You can't possibly please everyone and that got me thinking to a solution. Please the ones that are worth pleasing and just forget about the rest.Most of people's actions are motivated by intentions and motives but evil intentions and selfish intentions are the ones that bring about head. Intentions may not be clear at first but come to time, people you treat badly will know it. I think its takes too much out of a person to hate and forgivness is so easily done. Its probably good there's no hate in a person but sometimes some things just scar you so badly, it hurts.
I wouldn't say that i've not done things that i'm not ashamed of. I've done things, many in fact with selfish and evil intentions. Sometimes it just takes time to reflect and realise what you've done isn't appropriate. I wouldn't say its wrong and "wrong" comes out to be a very strong word. I can only hope to change and be a better person that next moment that comes along.
I got friends saying that i'm anti-social. Actually, it sort of used to be a cool thing in the past being emo and stuff, not talking to people and hanging your head real low. There are times when i directly walk past people that i know(groupmates,friend's of friends)and pretend not to see them only for them to call my name and showing me a "Why did you do this again after so many times i've told you." face. I apologise for my weak vocabulary but i just hope you hape that imagery of that expression in your head. Other times were, " Hi rodney." and i will go "Ae,hi!". I gave the feeling that I don't know them well and as thought i'm very surprised to see them. It's kind of rude but i could actually explain the anti-socialism. I actually fear that when i take the initiative to say "hi" there wouldn't be a reply making me feel silly or i have this understanding that if the other person feels that i'm close enough with him/her for a "hi" the other person would take the "hi" first. I also do not talk much to friend's friends or people who i'm not so familiar with because i'm afraid that what i say might offend them or if i do try to instill humour and its not funny and makes me lame and stupid or worst they do not comprehend what i want to say.
Lastly, my sincere apologies for this SO SO SO self-absorbed post. There would be " Who gives a fuck about Rodney?" so my apologies for not describing more about this entry at the start. I just wish that blogspot never shuts down and when i'm gone, this will be all that's left to describe me in words.
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Everyone has a part of them they never reveal.. Im no exception.
Anyway good la. Both of us antisocial ppl become frens. lol.
no need to feel this way lar rod. dare to tell your thoughts to other people even if you don't know them.it's just like how u dare to dress yourself up. *im not saying u look like shit* comments made by other ppl only let u know but when your friends comment smth, it's smth u shld take note of.
I hope you will always say hi to me whenever we see each other ah. Then together we go eat apple pies. Hahas.
Damn.. Another emo one. Can we stop getting emo and get high tgt? :D
hahaha! u can always say "hi" to me!
but u seem to always "oie" me instead.
LOL
hello rodney. =)
GLory Man U. hahas.
HI rodney!
=D*winkwink.